In today’s busy world, work, household chores and social activities all put a strain on your time with your child. But as you well know, it’s imperative that you spend quality time together. It helps strengthen the bond between parent and child, and lets your child know you can be trusted and counted on. Children who spend quality time with their parents often do better in school, and excel in extracurricular activities, hobbies or sports. And though it can be ‘scheduled’ to a degree, it’s something that happens when you least expect it.  Therefore it’s important that you do spend as much time as possible with your child in a relaxed atmosphere and do things together that you both enjoy.

But you’re asking yourself, “Where am I going to find the time? My schedule’s crazy enough as it is!” Well, for something as important as your child, you need to start digging around in that crazy schedule and find the time.  Prioritizing is the key.

Here’s some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of your time and find quality time where you least expect it.

Look at your household chore list and decide which ones can be left undone or be done imperfectly in order to make more family time. 

You might also want to consider leaving certain things until after your child has gone to bed to make the most of your time together.

Turn some of your everyday routines together count. 

Sing some favorite silly songs on the way to daycare, or make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what’s happening in your child’s life.

If you have more than one child, realize that each of them needs your individual attention.

You may really have to juggle things around to make this happen, but try to be flexible and creative when spending time with each of your kids.  And no matter what, don’t skip those individual times with each child.  By doing so you show them they’re lower down on the priority list than the dry cleaning or the grocery shopping.

Children thrive on stability and routines, so plan your quality times so that they can take place regularly.

Maybe you can walk the dog together on weekend morning, take a shopping excursion together, have a scheduled night each week for a sit-down dinner together, or make a trip to the park.

We are now down to our third (and final) article on the series covering the techniques and tips to effectively implement the positive parenting approach.

Here are the prevous ones:

• The “Hows” of Positive Parenting: Proven Tips to Raise Happy & Successful Children (Part 1)
• The Hows of Positive Parenting: Proven Tips to Raise Happy & Successful Children (Part 2)

Do you still remember the first seven points that we have discussed before? Here they are:

1. Manage behaviour with Clarity
2. Implement Rules with Transition
3. Frame your Instructions in a Positive Manner
4. Work on Your Own Mood and Transform Your Perspectives
5. Validate their Feelings and Empathize with their Emotions
6. Interact with the Same Level Physically
7. Let Self-Expression Be Free Yet Proper

So how shall we complete our list? Let us now dive into the final yet highly important hows of positive parenting!

8. Be More Intentional on Finding the Good

When our children are on the “terrible two,” “tiresome three,” “feisty four” or “fearsome five” stages, we can have the tendency to focus on the negatives. Their tantrums, disobedience, naughtiness, playfulness, and many other seemingly negative characteristics push most parents to perceive them as terrible, tiresome, feisty, or fearsome.

Instead of looking at such stages of development negatively, we can actually transform our own perspectives and direct our thoughts towards being more intentional in looking for the good. I admit, this tip can be easier said than done. But there are ways to make it work!

First, make a reflection of your parenting. Get a notebook and pen and list down both the good and the bad aspects of your parenting experience. Surely, the bad will never outweigh the good! For every cry of your child, there would be hundred-fold smiles. For every hour taken away from your sleep, there’s an overflowing bucket of happiness in your heart.

Second, be keener on looking at your child’s good behavior. When your child wakes up from her nap, you can tell her, “You’ve surely had a sweet nap, my dear! You know what? Mama also had a wonderful nap beside you. (Or Mama also had a beautiful time cooking our dinner for later!) Let’s do that again tomorrow, okay?” Remember to always verbalize your praises. Don’t be afraid to show appreciation.

9. Help & Coach Them with Their Emotions

One of the misconceptions of parents about their children’s emotions is that they are too simple and shallow to care about. Most parents would have the perception that children are too immature with a mere play on their minds, thus it is not necessary to talk about how they feel or why they are angry, frustrated, happy, excited or whatsoever.

Emotions are at the core of our being. No matter what stage in life we are, everything that we feel is valid. It is important to talk about your child’s emotions from time to time. It helps them accept and validate their own happiness, joy, anger, excitement, and disappointment.

When they suddenly smile, you can ask, “How come you are smiling, my dear?” Then you can share some of your personal accounts this way: “You know what, I also smile when I am happy. I smile when you hug me and kiss me.” It would also help if you can teach them how to react properly when they get disappointed over an unmet desire or how to show appreciation to other people.

By always talking to them about their emotions, you can help them have a secure emotional foundation which could help them cope with different circumstances as they grow and experience the real world

10. Be Generous with Love – Physically & Verbally

Are hugs and kisses a normal part of your day? Then great! Do you frequently say “I love you” to your child? Then wonderful!

Do not be afraid to show your love both physically and verbally to your children. Although others would argue that this could make them weak or feeling entitled, let me counter that. Our children are in their developing years, and they need the maximum amount of love that we can give. We cannot make them fully secure with their individuality and confident with their environment if they do not feel accepted, loved, and taken care of. The world can be quite harsh and they would soon discover this fact as they grow old. For them to be strong enough to conquer all challenges, they need to know that there are people who love them and won’t leave them no matter what happens. And that is you, mom and dad.

After all, doesn’t the world need more love? When our child is filled with love in their hearts, then it wouldn’t be hard for them to be kind to other people.

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