Tag: realmomlife

child development, Child's Education, momblog, Relationships

4 Effective ways to Get Your Kids to Stop Whining

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“Moooooooooooom!”

It’s irritating, it’s frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it’s obnoxious and unacceptable, it’s actually effective for your child to get your attention. It’s whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.

  1.  First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry.  Don’t let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren’t giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
  2.  When the whining begins, don’t overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral.  Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don’t delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.sdsa
  3. Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It’s imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
  4. If you have an older child that’s developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem.  If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child’s whining.

Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root.  Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.

how to be the most loving parent the smart way

 

 

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child development, Child's Education, family conflict, momblog, Relationships

Harnessing the Positive and Taming the Negative on Strong-Willed Children

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Having strong-willed children can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, having a strong will is a sign that your child can be easily equipped to conquer the world with a free spirit, a determined mind, and an unwavering determination. On the other hand, uncontrolled will during childhood may prevent the development of your child’s moral compass because she can have the tendency to only believe in her own perceptions and have her own convictions.

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Despite having both beneficial and harmful sides to being a strong-willed person, parents can still focus on the development of the positive aspects and work on the improvement of the negative ones. Here are some of the most helpful tips on how we can use a positive parenting approach to strong-willed children:

1. Give Options Instead of Directives.

One of the most salient characteristics of strong-willed children is their defiance to directives. If you notice that your child hardly accepts certain orders such as brush her teeth, pick up her mess, take a bath, or get inside the house, then you need to rework your strategy. Instead of providing direct orders, you will have to frame your talk in a way that gives her options.

Pretty Hispanic teacher works with cute little preschooler

For example, you can let her choose between building blocks in the living room and playing with her stuffed toys in the playroom. This strategy works effectively because you removed the focus away from the real intention of letting her go inside the house. In addition, you were also able to reinforce her idea that she can still be the master of her own destiny without being always restricted by other’s imposition of random rules.

2. Let Her Claim Authority Over Her Own Body.

Let Your Child Make Her Own Choices and Put the Power Struggles Behind You_Baby throwing clothes

Do you know that children can also feel frustrated over their lack of basic freedom such as being able to choose their own clothes? It is very important to foster your child’s sense of individuality by allowing her to have a say on many things about her life such as what she will wear for the day, how she’d like to fix her hair, and whether or not she would like her pictures to be posted in social media.

I know how exciting it is to plan out what our children would wear for a specific day, but the notion of having control over one’s own body can be diminished whenever we force them to wear certain stuff. A good way to go about this is by letting her pick from at most three sets of clothes that you have handpicked prior to her personal selection.

3. Establish Rules and Routines.

Signs-You-Have-Strong-Willed-ChildSince strong-willed children are usually defiant, it would be best to train them into having a certain routine and into letting them understand the need for certain rules. This can prevent power struggles during your parenting journey and prevent possible clashes. When children understand that rules are essential for a peaceful living, then they will surely be able to respect government authorities, workplace bosses, and community members when they grow up.

4. Have a Strong Personal Connection Founded on Respect.

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To be able to instill discipline on a strong-willed child, you will have to go the extra mile of fostering a deep relationship that is founded on respect and evidently shown through effortful communication. Your strong-willed child would feel antagonistic towards your disciplining efforts if you fail to make her feel loved and respected. Make sure that you set aside meaningful communication every single day. Listen to her needs most especially when she feels upset, agitated, and emotional. Let your child know that you respect her emotions by acknowledging her feelings.

how to be the most loving parent the smart way

 

Get a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu

child development, child safety, health, momblog, Relationships

How Parents Can Help with Childhood Anxiety & Fear

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Children are happy creatures, right? But we must also acknowledge the fact that they can feel anxious and fearful at times.  Although they were seemingly born without any conceivable problem yet, there are those rare moments when we see them cry, frown, and feel agitated. What could be the cause of their anxiety? Why do they become scared of certain circumstances and environments?

In this article, we will look into the reasons why babies, toddlers or young children may feel anxious and afraid, and the ways by which parents can help them overcome these emotions.

Reason Number 1: Separation Anxiety

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The natural comfort zones of infants, toddlers, and children are their parents. Some infants who have already developed their sense of attachment to their parents or caretakers would easily cry when separated even for a few seconds from them. Most babies who are breastfed also experience a great degree of separation anxiety that’s why they would eagerly hold onto their moms and refrain from being carried by other people even by their own family members. Separation anxiety may continue to present itself until children reach their preschool years when they finally become accustomed to being with their teachers and classmates.

What can you do?

Be strategic in letting your child spend time with other family members so that you can also do other activities without feeling the guilt of being separated for a while. It would be ideal to bring your child wherever you go, but if that proves not to be mentally and physically healthy for you, then just make sure that you communicate the need to go somewhere and promise to be back after a certain time.

Reason Number 2: Presence of Strangers

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Do you notice that most infants simply look so adorable when they suddenly giggle and smile upon seeing other people? That’s particularly because they still haven’t fully developed their sense of familiarity. But as these infants grow older, they slowly become less welcoming towards strangers. This continues until the age of five or six when these children would shy away from interacting with people who are new to them.

What can you do?

It is definitely not advisable to let strangers touch your child just to prove that your family is approachable and friendly. When you go to a party or walk in the neighborhood, do not force your baby to like the people around her. Give her a sense of space and allow her to normalize the new environment until she gets used to seeing other people.

Reason Number 3: Animals and Stuffed Toys

Is your child among those who get afraid of large stuffed toys or baby dolls? Don’t ever think that it is abnormal. Some children simply feel afraid of large animals such as lions, dogs, and gorillas because they are naturally wired to perceive these images as uncommon and fearful.

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What can you do?

Do not force your child to like the gorilla drawn on the book or the large barking dog of your friend. Acknowledge her fears. Put away these stuff for a little while but be sure to introduce them little by little through stories or short interactions until your child gets used to whatever image makes her afraid.

Reason Number 4: Being Alone

Admit it, even adults like us can be uneasy when left alone somewhere. We are social creatures and very few of us would be comfortable being left alone. What more would kids feel when they are the only person left in a room?

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What can you do?

As much as possible, do not leave your child alone anywhere even during her slumber most especially when your baby hasn’t passed the one-year-old mark yet. The likelihood of sudden infant death syndrome increases when infants sleep alone in their own bedrooms.

Reason Number 5: Darkness

LCBD-storiesMost kids do not like the dark except when you have trained your child to sleep with the lights turned off. Our babies and toddlers perceive security, assurance, and comfort with what they see with their eyes. They are highly visual beings, thus their emotions also depend on their ability to clearly see the people and things around them.

What can you do?

If your toddler can already speak or express her emotions, you may start asking questions why she is afraid of the dark. From there, you could have an idea whether your child thinks that monsters or other scary creatures may be lurking in the dark. Reassure her that there are no such creatures and that you are always ready to protect her.

Reason Number 6: Sudden Loud Noise

ear-acheHow does your toddler react when an airplane passes through the skies above you? Some children immediately seek comfort from the people around them upon hearing a sudden loud noise such as a car’s engine, a vehicle’s horn, a dog’s bark, or any other loud sound.

What can you do?

Offer physical comfort by hugging your child so that she can feel safe and secure with your embrace. Once the loud noise ends, do not fail to give an explanation of its source. Explaining circumstances will help your child overcome certain fears.

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“Download this FREE ebook to discover how to develop your child’s brain whilst they easily drift to sleep.”

child development, Child's Education, family time, momblog, Relationships

The Positive Influence of Being Involved in your Child’s Education + Free Printable Spring Worksheet

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It has been shown many times over in research studies that a parent who is involved in their child’s education has a positive impact. It’s reflected in improved grades and test scores, strong attendance, a higher rate of homework completion, higher graduation rates, improved attitudes and behaviors in the child, as well as the child being more likely to become involved in positive extra-curricular activities. Send out the message early in your child’s education that your home is an involved and active supporter of their learning.

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Probably the most important element of a positive learning environment at home is structure. But what is too little or too much?  If we’re too lenient or expect too little, your child may become disorganized or unmotivated. If we’re too rigid and strict, it can cause undue pressure or cause your child to feel unable to deliver on your expectations.

So what’s the best way to meet in the middle and create a positive learning environment for your child at home?  

Help your child develop a work area where they can study and focus without being interrupted. Children usually do better when they have a private study area away from interruption. If your child prefers doing their work at the kitchen table, make sure other family members understand the kitchen is off-limits during study time.  Make sure your child has plenty of supplies and reference materials available and that the area has plenty of light. Regardless of its location, ensure the area is quiet and that your child can study and work uninterrupted.

adorable-little-girl-with-glasses-getting-stressed-out_53876-63179Agree on a regular time for studying. To help your child make homework a habit, schedule a set time each day for homework. Perhaps breaking study time up into smaller increments would work better for your child than one solid period. Work with your child to find out what works best for them. In addition, be sure your child has a sufficient break between the time they arrive home from school before they sit down to work in order to ‘decompress’ from their school day.

 

Help your child develop a method of keeping track of homework assignments. This can be a difficult chore for some students. Developing a successful way of keeping track of assignments then scratching them off as completed helps them develop a productive method for accomplishing tasks later in life.

Develop a positive line of communication with your child’s teacher.  Teachers are usually very willing and excited to work with an involved parent to help the child’s overall success in school.  Whether it’s notes sent back and forth in your child’s backpack or an e-mail correspondence, make sure your teacher knows your open for suggestions as how to better assist them in the homework and study process at home.

You can download free printable spring matching worksheet here

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You can also download worksheet answers here 

Restore your little learner’s passion for the outdoors with this spring-themed learning sheet. For more fun and engaging educational reading activities, go to Education.com!

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“A poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that 76% of parents with infants have frequent sleep problems.

Learn how to develop you child’s brain whilst they easily drift to sleep with this proven FREE ebook .

Download it now!

child development, Child's Education, momblog, Relationships

Knowing, Accepting, and Dealing with Your Toddler’s Temperament

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Why does it matter to know your toddler’s temperament? Basically, your toddler’s temperament can affect your daily parenting journey and the future life of your little one. Your child’s temperament is her own unique character that determines the way that she interacts with her surroundings, the people around her, and the various circumstances that happen on a daily basis.

In this post, we will discuss the different ways on how we can discover our children’s temperament so that we can easily accept and deal with their unique characters.

Knowing Your Toddler’s Temperament

Some child researchers have provided three categories for determining our children’s temperament. Here are the three general categories:

1. Easy or Flexible Temperament  

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These children are usually happy and calm. They can easily adapt to certain routines such as regular sleeping schedules and good eating habits.

 

2. Active or Fiesty Temperament

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These children do not usually thrive in routines. They do not feel comfortable with people whom they’ve met for the first time. They also feel uneasy when exposed to noisy environments and react strongly to certain events.

 

3. Slow to Warm or Cautious Temperament

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Children who exhibit this kind of temperament usually react strangely to new circumstances. They don’t seem to be welcoming of new environments and new practices. They need repeated exposure in order to normalize their interactions.

But remember!!! Not all children may perfectly fall under one category. Your child may exhibit attitudes that cross different categories, and that is definitely not a cause for concern. That only validates the reality that each child is dynamic and unique. Let these categorizations only serve as your guide when determining your parenting style and techniques.

So how will you be able to identify your child’s temperament? Consider these points:

  1. Observe how your child reacts to certain events and circumstances.
  2. Check her attention span.
  3. See her focus.
  4. Look at her mood.
  5. Evaluate her adaptability to certain routines.
  6. Check her interaction with different types of people.

Once you have gotten an idea about your toddler’s temperament, it is important to remember that you can never force her to change into moving from one temperament to another. There is definitely no hierarchy in these categorizations.

Accepting Your Toddler’s Temperament and Dealing with It

Your child’s traits are uniquely hers. Even when she seems to be entirely different from you, you just got to accept the fact that your toddler is a unique human being with a potential to use her own traits to conquer future life challenges and develop her own skills.

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Despite the fact that temperament is inherently in your child’s personality, you also have to know that you can influence her behavior and reactions. If your toddler seems to be uncomfortable with new faces, you can actually make an effort of bringing her more frequently to social events like children’s parties, friends’ reunions, and even in playgroup classes. If your toddler seems to be having difficulty in following a strict sleeping schedule, then you can simply be more intentional in following schedules and consistent in using techniques for daytime naps and night sleeping.

Dealing with your child’s temperament requires respect, acceptance, and patience. The way that you interact with one child may not necessarily be the same with the methods used for her siblings. You can use different strategies to inculcate family values, cultural principles, and certain behavioral traits that you’d like your child to be influenced with.

1115170878106304.VpltTucCmKszmwtCd9bk_height640

“A poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that 76% of parents with infants have frequent sleep problems.

Learn how to develop you child’s brain whilst they easily drift to sleep with this proven FREE ebook .

Download it now!