child development, family conflict, family time, health, momblog, Relationships

Guilt-Free Parenting: Why You Need Self-Care the Most

I’ve talked to a number of parents and surprisingly, many of us actually feel guilty when we spend a little time at the salon, at the shopping mall, and in other places of interest! Why? That’s because of the prevailing mentality that parents shall be forever tied to their kids to prove that they are performing their duties well!

Parenting is a tough job in itself and we shouldn’t make it more difficult by creating imaginary and unnecessary pressure to meet the unrealistic expectations of other people. To make you feel less guilty about self-care, let me prove some points:

1. The way you feel as a human being has a consequential effect on the way you act as a parent.

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Was there ever a time when you unintentionally blurted out a negative word to your child or shouted at her just because you were so stressed from all the household chores or frustrated from work?

Millions of people across the globe would come to a point when the relationship with their children would get affected by the difficult circumstances of their career and personal lives.

Don’t wait for the time when your emotional bucket overflows with negativity. Rescue your soul from tiredness. Save yourself and your children from regretful situations that you may never take back.

2. Depression and anxiety are increasing at alarming levels among parents.

Generally, parents are regarded as heroes and strong figures in the eyes of their children. Although that could be true, we still cannot disregard the fact that a lot of parents today are facing anxiety and depression from unmet goals, unrealized desires, insecurities, and so much more.

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The feeling of emptiness among parents is even furthered by their lack of opportunities to explore their own source of personal fulfillment. Many are trapped in the notion that once you become a parent, your world must now only revolve around your child.

3. Happiness is contagious. Where will your child’s happiness come from when you are void of it?

sebastian-leon-prado-dBiIcdxMWfE-unsplashWe all want to have happy children. We want them to grow up with the ability to smile despite life’s struggles. We’d like them to see laughing yet also learning from their mistakes. We want them to take the world easily yet also with full responsibility.

Such a predisposition in life can only be attained when they have the right influences. And who can most easily affect the way that children think but their parents, right?

4. Self-care is a right, never just a privilege. You do not lose this right by virtue of being a parent. Never!

Whoever said that you lose your right to self-care when you became a parent? Yes, you were given the responsibility to raise little souls but that does not mean that your basic right to experience personal happiness from your own hobbies, leisure activities, and other stuff would consequentially be removed from you.

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Remember, you can and you must still take care of yourself and allow yourself some fun even when you are now a parent. Take a few hours off in a week to go to your favorite place, visit your friends, or have some me-time in a coffee shop. Don’t be afraid to ask help from your spouse or your extended family. Allow them to help you in raising your child so that you can also have the time to take care of yourself.


how to be the most loving parent the smart way

 

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child development, Child's Education, family time, momblog, Relationships

The Positive Influence of Being Involved in your Child’s Education + Free Printable Spring Worksheet

It has been shown many times over in research studies that a parent who is involved in their child’s education has a positive impact. It’s reflected in improved grades and test scores, strong attendance, a higher rate of homework completion, higher graduation rates, improved attitudes and behaviors in the child, as well as the child being more likely to become involved in positive extra-curricular activities. Send out the message early in your child’s education that your home is an involved and active supporter of their learning.

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Probably the most important element of a positive learning environment at home is structure. But what is too little or too much?  If we’re too lenient or expect too little, your child may become disorganized or unmotivated. If we’re too rigid and strict, it can cause undue pressure or cause your child to feel unable to deliver on your expectations.

So what’s the best way to meet in the middle and create a positive learning environment for your child at home?  

Help your child develop a work area where they can study and focus without being interrupted. Children usually do better when they have a private study area away from interruption. If your child prefers doing their work at the kitchen table, make sure other family members understand the kitchen is off-limits during study time.  Make sure your child has plenty of supplies and reference materials available and that the area has plenty of light. Regardless of its location, ensure the area is quiet and that your child can study and work uninterrupted.

adorable-little-girl-with-glasses-getting-stressed-out_53876-63179Agree on a regular time for studying. To help your child make homework a habit, schedule a set time each day for homework. Perhaps breaking study time up into smaller increments would work better for your child than one solid period. Work with your child to find out what works best for them. In addition, be sure your child has a sufficient break between the time they arrive home from school before they sit down to work in order to ‘decompress’ from their school day.

 

Help your child develop a method of keeping track of homework assignments. This can be a difficult chore for some students. Developing a successful way of keeping track of assignments then scratching them off as completed helps them develop a productive method for accomplishing tasks later in life.

Develop a positive line of communication with your child’s teacher.  Teachers are usually very willing and excited to work with an involved parent to help the child’s overall success in school.  Whether it’s notes sent back and forth in your child’s backpack or an e-mail correspondence, make sure your teacher knows your open for suggestions as how to better assist them in the homework and study process at home.


You can download free printable spring matching worksheet here

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You can also download worksheet answers here 

Restore your little learner’s passion for the outdoors with this spring-themed learning sheet. For more fun and engaging educational reading activities, go to Education.com!


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4 Beautiful Reasons Why Tantrums Are Not At All Bad

We surely don’t want to be trapped in a dreadful situation when our toddlers cry heavily, scream their hearts out, and lie down kicking on the floor in the middle of a solemn celebration or in the midst of happy social gatherings. But tantrums can just happen anytime most especially during the most unpredictable moments.

Despite the dread characterizing tantrums, I urge you to see the positive side of this seemingly uncontrollable behavior. Here are some of the most beautiful reasons why you should accept the normalcy of tantrums:

1. Tantrums relieve your children’s emotional stress.

What do you feel when you are harboring resentment in your heart? How heavy does your soul become? By knowing how toxic containing our emotions can be, then we can better accept the need for our children’s cries.

These little kids need to have an avenue for venting out their emotions. When we force to stop them from telling us that they are extremely upset or discouraged, then we also allow the further growth of stress hormones in their system. Tantrums are our children’s way of showing that their immature hearts cannot contain the sadness that they feel.

2. Tantrums make your children normal human beings.

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Do you agree that we live in a sometimes cruel world? Most people expect us to be happy at all times and behaving at our best even when situations are terrible and awful. Some parents are even shamed and criticized for dealing with stressful situations in a manner that deviates from society’s high expectations.

Tantrums only prove that our children are normal human beings – they can lose their cool, they can be overly sad, they can feel rejected, they can be disappointed, and they can show how they are without being constrained by what other people could think of them.

3. Tantrums let your children accept boundaries and manage rejections.

If you managed to not buy everything that your children asked you to buy at the mall, then congratulations! If you had the courage to get the handful of candies and chocolates from your kids, then great! You are doing the right thing as a parent.

Most children throw tantrums because of certain triggers such as not having what they want or being stopped from particular activities. Since they haven’t developed to their full maturity yet, we can expect that tantrums could be their means to overcome rejections.

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When your children throw tantrums because of these reasons, resist the urge to suddenly change your mind. Don’t give in to their demands. Instead, allow them to cry but offer a soothing embrace. This will soon let them know that throwing tantrums is not the answer to their disappointments.

4. Tantrums give you a parenting challenge.

Challenges are nice to have from time to time. But what’s good in dealing with tantrums is that it tests your patience and stimulates your empathy towards your children. But with every circumstance, you have the responsibility to rise up victorious from all challenges. And victory is not measured when your child stops from crying. Victory is determined by how you dealt with the problem and how you were able to show your love even during the most stressful situations.


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child development, Child's Education, family time, health

The Importance of a Regular Routine to your Child

via The Importance of a Regular Routine to your Child

YanLev

Regular schedules provide the day with a structure that orders a young child’s world. Although predictability can be tiresome for adults, children thrive on repetition and routine. Schedules begin from the first days of life. Babies, especially, need regular sleep and meal programs and even routines leading up to those activities.

As they gets older, when a child knows what is going to happen and who is going to be there, it allows them to think and feel more independently,  and feel more safe and secure. A disrupted routine can set a child off and cause them to feel insecure and irritable.

Dinnertime is a great place to start setting a routine.  Sitting together at the dinner table gives children the opportunity to share their day and talk about their feelings.  This is also a great time to include some responsibility in your child’s routine, such as helping to set or clear the table.

And regardless of how exhausted you or your children may be, don’t be tempted to skip winding down from the day.  This is part of a nighttime ritual and allows both child and parent to decompress after a busy day. It also helps bedtime go more smoothly.  This is usually the time of day when parent and child can spend some quality time together, so fight the urge to start the laundry or do the dishes until after the child has gone to bed.  If this isn’t possible, consider trading off these duties with your spouse each night to ensure your child has quality time with each parent on a regular basis. Take the time to find out what wind-down strategy works best for your child.  Some children are actually energized instead of relaxed by a warm bath, so if that’s the case with your child, bath time should be saved for a different time of day. Whatever routine you settle on, make it quiet, relaxing, and tranquil for everyone.

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And though routines are essential, there should be some room to be flexible as well.  You might be out late at night on a family outing, have unexpected company show up that may result in a skipped meal or nap in the car while running errands in the evening.  In these instances, it’s important for you to keep your cool. If you express frustration or anger about disrupting the routine, your child will as well. Prepare children for such unexpected events and show them that though it can happen from time to time, the routine will return the next day.


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