child development, Child's Education, Relationships

THE SACRED “O” – OBEDIENCE AMONG YOUNG CHILDREN

How is your parenting so far? Can you easily let your child pick up the toys that are scattered on the floor? Or are you having difficulty in terms of teaching her the concept and practice of obedience?

We all know that parenting is a challenge. If you think that the most difficult stage is when your child is still a newborn baby, then you could be underestimating the gravity by which your naughty toddler or your extremely curious child can pull your own energy down to the lowest.

To make parenting a lot easier, we need to develop the character of our children. After all, their character will also be a big factor in determining their future success.

Here are helpful tips to teach obedience to your young children:

1. Model Obedience

sustav-e1549092990654.jpg

The best way by which your children can learn obedience or any other values in life is through observation. It is almost impossible to teach your children something that you cannot do yourself.

So how do you model obedience? Are you supposed to obey your children like they are your bosses? Definitely not!

Modeling obedience can be done by following the laws of the land such as traffic regulations. It can also be seen when you strictly follow your house rules such as no television watching at certain hours of the day, no wearing of shoes on the carpet, and no junk food. Whatever it is that you want your children to do, you must also be willing to show them the act.

2. Get on a Talk

If you want your children to brush their teeth, you cannot simply order them to do so. You need to explain the importance of brushing their teeth.

Daddy-reading

Get on a talk. Make sure that they fully understand the need to do a certain activity. Explaining things to them will make them voluntarily do something without questioning the purpose behind their obedience.

3. Be Firm & Consistent

Children draw on patterns. Their behavior usually develops according to the patterns that they observe at home, in their neighborhood, or in their preschool.

You will need to be consistent in your rules so as to develop predictability among your children. You cannot restrict them from shouting at you when you allow them to talk horrendously with other people.

You also need to be firm with your decisions. Once you have proclaimed that junk food must not be eaten during meal times, then do not be swayed by their tantrums, sad faces, or constant pleas. Sudden change s in your decisions can give them the impression that it is okay not to obey because you will change your mind anyway.

4. Offer Consequences

TP09_StepsToddler11Consequences in obedience training are not only about giving punishments but also about offering rewards. It is important to plan your punishments and rewards. You cannot be random about these in order to make sure that your emotions won’t get in the way of proper discipline.

Rewards can be in many forms. It can be as simple as outdoor play, a cone of ice cream, or an hour of swimming. On the other hand, consequences can also come in various forms such as limited playtime or keeping away of their favorite toys. Just make sure that the punishment isn’t harsh or detrimental to their development.

5. Examine Yourself

nathalie-jomard-motherhood-illustrations-1

Look at yourself as a parent. Are you imposing standards that are almost impossible for the age of your children? Do you get annoyed by their normal behavior and misbehaviors? As a parent, you need to have a heart and mind that are full of understanding, patience, and love in order to help your children grow to their fullest. Have some room for mistakes. Be gentle with your kids because it is through lovely and positive discipline that you can help them embrace obedience as part of their character.

 


how to be the most loving parent the smart way

 

 

 

Get a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu

child development, Child's Education, Relationships

4 Effective ways to Get Your Kids to Stop Whining

sdsa

“Moooooooooooom!”

It’s irritating, it’s frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it’s obnoxious and unacceptable, it’s actually effective for your child to get your attention. It’s whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.

  1.  First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry.  Don’t let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren’t giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
  2.  When the whining begins, don’t overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral.  Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don’t delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
  3. Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It’s imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
  4. If you have an older child that’s developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem.  If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child’s whining.

Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root.  Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.


how to be the most loving parent the smart wayGet a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu

child development, family time, Relationships

You Can’t Spoil a Child through Love

Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn’t spoil children. Love is imperative to a child’s healthy development, and it’s just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them.

It’s a parent’s job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life.

The-Benefits-of-Being-an-Introverted-Parent_SOURCE_stocksy

Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security.  Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don’t want to fight with their children. They don’t want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children.

When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you’ve set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you’re serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them.

Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it’s now time to come home.

Develop a firm but a kind manner of making and enforcing your household’s rules and expectations.  There’s no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.  


how to be the most loving parent the smart wayGet a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu

child development

Tactics for Tackling a Toddler’s Temper Tantrum

1920_childrendiverse

Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum.  A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.

Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration – a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world.  Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.

Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one.  And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (“time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior.  This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again.


 

how to be the most loving parent the smart wayGet a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu

child development, Relationships

The Keys to Effective Discipline

asd

Disciplining a child is one of the most important, yet difficult, roles of being a parent.  Effective discipline teaches a child to be self-disciplined later in life.  It helps your child grow up to be happy and well-adjusted. Effective and positive discipline teaches and guides children, and helps them to feel safe, secure, and valued.

Discipline should be based on a child’s age, development and temperament. A parent’s goals by disciplining their child is to protect them from danger, to help them learn self-control and self-discipline and to develop a sense of responsibility. 

Children should be respectful of their parent’s authority. If they’re disciplined harshly or unfairly, especially if it includes shouting or humiliating, will make it difficult if not impossible for a child to respect and trust their parent.

Parents must be consistent in their discipline. Discipline that’s not consistent is confusing to children, no matter how old they are. If parents are inconsistent in the way they discipline their children, children may find it hard to respect them. It can also indirectly encourage misbehaving and result in confusion and frustration for the child.

Discipline must also be fair.  Parents must make sure that the punishment fits the crime and doesn’t punish too severely or is too lax. The consequences of their actions should be related to their behavior.

In order to discourage bad behavior, give your child choices about what to do. He will appreciate the chance to make decisions. Make sure rules that protect the safety, health and well-being of your child are given top priority.  If your child is irritable, tired or upset, be understanding and try to help calm them. It’s important to keep in mind that bad behavior can sometimes be circumstantial.

Encourage positive behavior in your child by spending quality time alone with your child each day. Give your child hugs, cuddles or a gentle pat on the back, and give praise when praise is due.  If your child is angry or sad, try to understand why.  Teach your child good behavior by setting a good example and behaving properly and appropriately yourself.


the quicker_ better way to get your child potty trainedGet a  book by the author Bakshi Sidhu