Child's Education, family time, momblog, Relationships

Get Involved in your Child’s Activities, Hobbies and School

via Get Involved in your Child’s Activities, Hobbies and School

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It’s probably no secret that children who have involved parents are more happy, healthy, and well-adjusted and excel at their educational and extracurricular pursuits.  It can increase their cognitive development, keeps them motivated, strengthens the parent-child relationship, and has a direct positive influence on their overall academic achievement.  In turn, it can also help parents achieve a positive outlook on their parenting, increase their own self confidence and self esteem, and will most likely feel more satisfied with their child’s educational experience at school.

But where do you get involved?  

With today’s busy schedules between home, work, and school, it may feel that the average family has very little quality time to offer.  However, different options and levels of commitment are available to fit every parent’s availability, and with some careful planning and dedication, you can make it a positive experience for both yourself and your child.

First of all, discover what your child is most passionate about.  Maybe you’ve thought about volunteering for the school bake sale to raise money, but your child is actually more actively involved in her local Girl Scouts troop.   If that’s the case, then get together with the other Girl Scout parents and see what you can contribute to help the troop.  Maybe you could organize a bake sale to benefit their next summer outing.

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It’s also important to consider what skills, talents and abilities you can bring to the table.  Maybe your child’s school is in desperate need of your help organizing a fundraiser, but your skills in sewing and designing might better serve the school if you were to help in making the costumes for the school play.  Remember, you want this to be a positive experience for both of you, and if your child senses that you’re not happy with what you’ve chosen to become involved in, then they likely will not be happy as well.

But the bottom line is get involved and stay involved.  Children of involved parents are less likely to get into mischief, have emotional problems, or have problems in school. 

You benefit by connecting with and staying connected to your child.  It’s a win-win situation for you both.


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child development, family conflict, family time, momblog, Relationships

6 Best Tips to Prevent Shouting at Your Kids

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Parenting is definitely overwhelming. Although it is generally happy and fulfilling, it can also be toxic and exhausting at times. When things are not going well such as when our kids fail to listen to us or when they behave in a nasty way, we can have the tendency to yell at them. Is it normal? Or is it even acceptable?

Most moms and dads regret it when they suddenly and unintentionally shout at their children. But no matter how much they want to stop themselves from doing such, they admit that yelling seems to be a natural response.

I understand this sentiment. There are just times when our kids could easily bring out the unexpected beasts in our supposedly soft and loving hearts. But as much as possible, we don’t want this to happen. We want to continually be our children’s protector, nurturer, and safe refuge.

Not shouting at our kids is essential in making them grow mentally healthy and emotionally secure. Studies even point to the ineffectiveness of shouting in disciplining our children. When we yell at them, we do not address the main cause of misbehavior since they won’t usually be receptive to explanations during moments of distress.

To help you prevent from shouting at your children, I have compiled six of the best ways that you can use to make sure that you enforce positive discipline:

1. Identify what triggers your shouting.

In order to address the problem which is yelling, then we also need to know the cause of your response. Look back at the times that you have yelled at your children. Was it because of certain misconduct? Then go the extra mile in order to prevent such misbehavior. If your children usually mess up during meal times, why don’t you start teaching them table manners according to their age? If you have a toddler, then you could set up paper floor mats that could catch the dirt as she feeds. Do whatever it takes to prevent your triggers from arising.

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2. Make your commands doable and easily understandable.

Your children surely have not fully matured yet, right? Then you must work on the instructions that you give them. If you want them to clean the living room, then be specific with your orders and give them one at a time. Ask them to pick up the scattered toys first, then only after that shall you order them to put the toys in the ottoman or do other things related to it. Do not bombard them with a lot of orders because they will surely fail you at some point in time and that could just cause your emotions to rise again.

3. Offer warning signs to generate teamwork.

Be able to communicate to your children that you might be at the brink of a disastrous response and that you don’t want to reach that point. It would be nice if you could directly tell them that you are already losing patience and that you may now be triggered to shout. Such warning signs, when communicated peacefully, can generate teamwork because children would most likely rather prevent you from losing your cool than do otherwise.

4. Set realistic standards.

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Your kid is not an adult; thus, you cannot expect her to be behaving like an ultra-disciplined adult who has been trained to follow all orders without room for mistakes. If you have a toddler, then don’t expect her to be eating mess-free. If you have an infant who keeps on crying at night, then don’t get mad at her for keeping you awake. After all, our expectations usually set the foundations for our behavioral responses.

5. Reflect on your day and your life.

Have you had a bad day? Has it been months since you last had your own time for yourself at the salon or a coffee shop? Have you been feeling anxious because of career disappointments? It is important to examine yourself most especially when you have been delivering not-so-acceptable behavior towards the people around you. Be able to know how to address your own frustrations so that you can also live peacefully with your children.

6. Practice. Practice. Practice.

innocenceYes, it can be hard. Even when you become intentional in changing yourself, your child, and the circumstances, you could still suddenly yell at your child when certain situations happen. If ever you fail, do not ever think that it is the end of your journey to positive discipline. It could take time and a great deal of effort. Keep on practicing. But whenever you fail, do not forget to make a personal apology to your child about what you have done. Let her know that you are capable of asking forgiveness and that you need her help to remove the yelling tendencies.


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child development, Child's Education, family time, momblog, Relationships

10 Steps To Inspire Your Kids To Dream Big

Imagine how much better a place the world would be if we all dream like kids again. If we are able to embrace our every passion and believe that anything and everything is possible and options for the future are limited only by our imagination.

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Now when the tables have turned and I see that free spirit in my child I want to keep that will power and mood to inspire him/her to realise and make these dreams to come true.

1. Be a dream role-model

Grownups have dreams too! Share them with your kids. Or be open about what you dreamed of becoming as a child, and discuss why it didn’t, or possibly did, happen. They will gain bravery in their own dreams when they see you chasing yours, celebrating your successes and bouncing back from your challenges.

2. Make time for creative play

Remind them that they can be anything they want when they grow up via role play games: a dentist, a teacher, a scientist, a doctor, an author. Have an honest talk about all of the hard work their dreams will require while letting them know that they are 100 percent capable of achieving their wildest dreams!

3. Be inspired by other big dreamers

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Your children can learn from the world’s top scientists, musicians, entrepreneurs, artists, athletes, and be inspired by their stories. They can also learn from inspiring people in your family and community.

 

4. Creating a Dream Diary or Board

Dream diaries or boards are incredibly useful and inspirational when making your own. By representing your goals with pictures and images you will actually build up and stimulate your emotions because your mind responds strongly to visual stimulation, and your emotions are the vibrational energy that activates the Law of Attraction. Your kid would love the idea of drawing his/her dreams, ideas and imagining the future.place-of-little-dreams-logo

5. Set them up for success

Success is inspiring, especially for children. Help them to experience success with their initial goals and dreams so that they are motivated to keep going.

6. Address challenges and failures

Young people need to learn that challenges and mistakes are normal. What’s important is how they approach them. They need to:

  • Believe it’s possible.
  • Put in the effort.
  • Stay determined.

7. Read books

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Reading quality books foster kids imagination, enriches the vocabulary and can throw open a window to the world. The fantastic stories and expansive ideas in books can feed a child’s imagination to open up great possibilities. Choose books that encourage your kids to think beyond their size and dream big.

8. Encouraging curiosity in kids

A vital element in education and in life is curiosity that drives us to learn new things and discover how things work around us. While there are various ways to stimulate our curiosity, it is crucial that we instill this in our children from young.

9. Inspire them

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Feed your kids imaginations! Take them to museums, travel with them, read books, explore with them. Let them know what’s out there, help them discover what is possible.

10. Dream together

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They will gain courage in their own dreams, when they see you chasing yours, celebrating your successes and bouncing back from your challenges. Dreaming as a family also helps kids look beyond themselves and work as a team.

 


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THE SACRED “O” – OBEDIENCE AMONG YOUNG CHILDREN

How is your parenting so far? Can you easily let your child pick up the toys that are scattered on the floor? Or are you having difficulty in terms of teaching her the concept and practice of obedience?

We all know that parenting is a challenge. If you think that the most difficult stage is when your child is still a newborn baby, then you could be underestimating the gravity by which your naughty toddler or your extremely curious child can pull your own energy down to the lowest.

To make parenting a lot easier, we need to develop the character of our children. After all, their character will also be a big factor in determining their future success.

Here are helpful tips to teach obedience to your young children:

1. Model Obedience

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The best way by which your children can learn obedience or any other values in life is through observation. It is almost impossible to teach your children something that you cannot do yourself.

So how do you model obedience? Are you supposed to obey your children like they are your bosses? Definitely not!

Modeling obedience can be done by following the laws of the land such as traffic regulations. It can also be seen when you strictly follow your house rules such as no television watching at certain hours of the day, no wearing of shoes on the carpet, and no junk food. Whatever it is that you want your children to do, you must also be willing to show them the act.

2. Get on a Talk

If you want your children to brush their teeth, you cannot simply order them to do so. You need to explain the importance of brushing their teeth.

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Get on a talk. Make sure that they fully understand the need to do a certain activity. Explaining things to them will make them voluntarily do something without questioning the purpose behind their obedience.

3. Be Firm & Consistent

Children draw on patterns. Their behavior usually develops according to the patterns that they observe at home, in their neighborhood, or in their preschool.

You will need to be consistent in your rules so as to develop predictability among your children. You cannot restrict them from shouting at you when you allow them to talk horrendously with other people.

You also need to be firm with your decisions. Once you have proclaimed that junk food must not be eaten during meal times, then do not be swayed by their tantrums, sad faces, or constant pleas. Sudden change s in your decisions can give them the impression that it is okay not to obey because you will change your mind anyway.

4. Offer Consequences

TP09_StepsToddler11Consequences in obedience training are not only about giving punishments but also about offering rewards. It is important to plan your punishments and rewards. You cannot be random about these in order to make sure that your emotions won’t get in the way of proper discipline.

Rewards can be in many forms. It can be as simple as outdoor play, a cone of ice cream, or an hour of swimming. On the other hand, consequences can also come in various forms such as limited playtime or keeping away of their favorite toys. Just make sure that the punishment isn’t harsh or detrimental to their development.

5. Examine Yourself

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Look at yourself as a parent. Are you imposing standards that are almost impossible for the age of your children? Do you get annoyed by their normal behavior and misbehaviors? As a parent, you need to have a heart and mind that are full of understanding, patience, and love in order to help your children grow to their fullest. Have some room for mistakes. Be gentle with your kids because it is through lovely and positive discipline that you can help them embrace obedience as part of their character.

 


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child development, Child's Education, Relationships

4 Effective ways to Get Your Kids to Stop Whining

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It’s irritating, it’s frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it’s obnoxious and unacceptable, it’s actually effective for your child to get your attention. It’s whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.

  1.  First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry.  Don’t let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren’t giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
  2.  When the whining begins, don’t overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral.  Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don’t delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
  3. Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It’s imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
  4. If you have an older child that’s developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem.  If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child’s whining.

Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root.  Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.


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