child development, family conflict, family time, health, momblog, Relationships

Guilt-Free Parenting: Why You Need Self-Care the Most

I’ve talked to a number of parents and surprisingly, many of us actually feel guilty when we spend a little time at the salon, at the shopping mall, and in other places of interest! Why? That’s because of the prevailing mentality that parents shall be forever tied to their kids to prove that they are performing their duties well!

Parenting is a tough job in itself and we shouldn’t make it more difficult by creating imaginary and unnecessary pressure to meet the unrealistic expectations of other people. To make you feel less guilty about self-care, let me prove some points:

1. The way you feel as a human being has a consequential effect on the way you act as a parent.

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Was there ever a time when you unintentionally blurted out a negative word to your child or shouted at her just because you were so stressed from all the household chores or frustrated from work?

Millions of people across the globe would come to a point when the relationship with their children would get affected by the difficult circumstances of their career and personal lives.

Don’t wait for the time when your emotional bucket overflows with negativity. Rescue your soul from tiredness. Save yourself and your children from regretful situations that you may never take back.

2. Depression and anxiety are increasing at alarming levels among parents.

Generally, parents are regarded as heroes and strong figures in the eyes of their children. Although that could be true, we still cannot disregard the fact that a lot of parents today are facing anxiety and depression from unmet goals, unrealized desires, insecurities, and so much more.

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The feeling of emptiness among parents is even furthered by their lack of opportunities to explore their own source of personal fulfillment. Many are trapped in the notion that once you become a parent, your world must now only revolve around your child.

3. Happiness is contagious. Where will your child’s happiness come from when you are void of it?

sebastian-leon-prado-dBiIcdxMWfE-unsplashWe all want to have happy children. We want them to grow up with the ability to smile despite life’s struggles. We’d like them to see laughing yet also learning from their mistakes. We want them to take the world easily yet also with full responsibility.

Such a predisposition in life can only be attained when they have the right influences. And who can most easily affect the way that children think but their parents, right?

4. Self-care is a right, never just a privilege. You do not lose this right by virtue of being a parent. Never!

Whoever said that you lose your right to self-care when you became a parent? Yes, you were given the responsibility to raise little souls but that does not mean that your basic right to experience personal happiness from your own hobbies, leisure activities, and other stuff would consequentially be removed from you.

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Remember, you can and you must still take care of yourself and allow yourself some fun even when you are now a parent. Take a few hours off in a week to go to your favorite place, visit your friends, or have some me-time in a coffee shop. Don’t be afraid to ask help from your spouse or your extended family. Allow them to help you in raising your child so that you can also have the time to take care of yourself.


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child development, child safety, health, momblog, Relationships

How Parents Can Help with Childhood Anxiety & Fear

Children are happy creatures, right? But we must also acknowledge the fact that they can feel anxious and fearful at times.  Although they were seemingly born without any conceivable problem yet, there are those rare moments when we see them cry, frown, and feel agitated. What could be the cause of their anxiety? Why do they become scared of certain circumstances and environments?

In this article, we will look into the reasons why babies, toddlers or young children may feel anxious and afraid, and the ways by which parents can help them overcome these emotions.

Reason Number 1: Separation Anxiety

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The natural comfort zones of infants, toddlers, and children are their parents. Some infants who have already developed their sense of attachment to their parents or caretakers would easily cry when separated even for a few seconds from them. Most babies who are breastfed also experience a great degree of separation anxiety that’s why they would eagerly hold onto their moms and refrain from being carried by other people even by their own family members. Separation anxiety may continue to present itself until children reach their preschool years when they finally become accustomed to being with their teachers and classmates.

What can you do?

Be strategic in letting your child spend time with other family members so that you can also do other activities without feeling the guilt of being separated for a while. It would be ideal to bring your child wherever you go, but if that proves not to be mentally and physically healthy for you, then just make sure that you communicate the need to go somewhere and promise to be back after a certain time.

Reason Number 2: Presence of Strangers

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Do you notice that most infants simply look so adorable when they suddenly giggle and smile upon seeing other people? That’s particularly because they still haven’t fully developed their sense of familiarity. But as these infants grow older, they slowly become less welcoming towards strangers. This continues until the age of five or six when these children would shy away from interacting with people who are new to them.

What can you do?

It is definitely not advisable to let strangers touch your child just to prove that your family is approachable and friendly. When you go to a party or walk in the neighborhood, do not force your baby to like the people around her. Give her a sense of space and allow her to normalize the new environment until she gets used to seeing other people.

Reason Number 3: Animals and Stuffed Toys

Is your child among those who get afraid of large stuffed toys or baby dolls? Don’t ever think that it is abnormal. Some children simply feel afraid of large animals such as lions, dogs, and gorillas because they are naturally wired to perceive these images as uncommon and fearful.

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What can you do?

Do not force your child to like the gorilla drawn on the book or the large barking dog of your friend. Acknowledge her fears. Put away these stuff for a little while but be sure to introduce them little by little through stories or short interactions until your child gets used to whatever image makes her afraid.

Reason Number 4: Being Alone

Admit it, even adults like us can be uneasy when left alone somewhere. We are social creatures and very few of us would be comfortable being left alone. What more would kids feel when they are the only person left in a room?

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What can you do?

As much as possible, do not leave your child alone anywhere even during her slumber most especially when your baby hasn’t passed the one-year-old mark yet. The likelihood of sudden infant death syndrome increases when infants sleep alone in their own bedrooms.

Reason Number 5: Darkness

LCBD-storiesMost kids do not like the dark except when you have trained your child to sleep with the lights turned off. Our babies and toddlers perceive security, assurance, and comfort with what they see with their eyes. They are highly visual beings, thus their emotions also depend on their ability to clearly see the people and things around them.

What can you do?

If your toddler can already speak or express her emotions, you may start asking questions why she is afraid of the dark. From there, you could have an idea whether your child thinks that monsters or other scary creatures may be lurking in the dark. Reassure her that there are no such creatures and that you are always ready to protect her.

Reason Number 6: Sudden Loud Noise

ear-acheHow does your toddler react when an airplane passes through the skies above you? Some children immediately seek comfort from the people around them upon hearing a sudden loud noise such as a car’s engine, a vehicle’s horn, a dog’s bark, or any other loud sound.

What can you do?

Offer physical comfort by hugging your child so that she can feel safe and secure with your embrace. Once the loud noise ends, do not fail to give an explanation of its source. Explaining circumstances will help your child overcome certain fears.


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